So… The old Nokia’s are making a return. Why?
Is it just me or does it scream “Hypster!” so loud that it’s making you deaf? I have read the BBC article and all I want is to call it bullshit. ‘A nostalgic memory that people want back’, ‘a loved item’… no, this brick has had its time and Nokia is not remaking it for the sake of the ones who have been missing this granpa of mobile phones. And if they want to bring it back then why is it coloured in different cheap plastic shades? You get ‘plastic bowl’ red, ‘I’m gonna vomit’ yellow, you even get ‘I will never be taken seriously again’ black but do you get the original ‘second hand’ grey? They are just trying to get attention and therefore cash as easily amused people around the world will buy this as an accessory. Who is going to give up their smartphones so that they can play snake for 10 minutes until it becomes terribly boring!? No one. I had one of those nightmares with buttons and all I can say is that I couldn’t wait to get a new phone. Yes the battery lasted for ages, because I hated it too much to ever use it! And what is it gonna use battery on anyway? It only knows pixels and green screens, even Pacman is more developed.
They also try to advertise it as a “detox” of technology… I almost laughed at that. How? We are still going to text, will still avoid making calls because they will be just as awkward, except we won’t be able to take decent pictures because whatever picture we take is going to look like a pixelated poop. It will not encourage anyone to socialise since we can still play snake for hours and develop an unhealthy obsession for something we could get on our smartphones but choose not to because it sucks. But to be completely honest, if I had a phone that ugly I would not touch it unless I was forced to buy the terrifying sound of the ringtone when my mum calls. Because we all know what happens if we miss that one call.
I don’t know how people don’t realise that you cand still get old phones like that and there is no reason for them to be making more other than increasing profits by tricking gullible people into thinking that something so outdated can still be cool. Times like this make me realise why we haven’t found the cure for cancer yet. At least we have good old Nokia brick back!
I did want to say at least one positive thing about it… …. …